New Things of the Week

1. I’ve started learning how to make stuff out of polymer clay. I’ve never been a really crafty person, but this polymer clay material is calling me. It’s like modeling clay, in that it never dries out. But unlike modeling clay, you can cure this stuff by baking it for at while in your oven. Then it turns hard and permanent. I have some in the oven right now– I’m imagining that it will turn into a hard plastic sort of stuff. Like anything, you can make art with it, or you can make crap with it. Among other items, I want to make weird, freaky little characters and such, and give them to my friends. Also, make stuff for my house. If I can build some skillz, perhaps it could free that noisy little visual art demon I have in my head. The one who convinced me to take that drawing class a while ago.

seated female redhead

2. For the next four years, every automobile commercial I watch, or ad I look at is wasted time. I wonder what that adds up to. Surely somebody knows how much time the average person spends looking at car commercials. Anyway, it’ll be wasted time because I leased a Volvo yesterday. It wasn’t the most considered decision I’ve ever made, although I’ve been thinking about getting a new car for several months. But a Volvo, well, that idea just happened on Friday. So I went to Car Dealer Heaven out there on Peachtree Industrial Blvd. intending to drive a bunch of cars and maybe think about considering a purchase/lease possibly sometime soon maybe. And the first place I stopped was the Volvo place, and I drove a car and it was just OK, but the dude met my price and the car does look pretty swell, so now I have a Volvo. I am a Volvo driver. A Volvist. Volvoid. It’s brand new, and does indeed have that smell. Having only driven either a used car or a rental car for the last seven years, and having not sat in many if any new cars during that time, I can tell you definitively that fake new-car-smell spray does absolutely not smell like an actual new car. This is what it looks like, except mine is black. Perhaps I’ll make a model of it out of polymer clay.

3. The Weekly Rob this week is an audio file, and it’s really good. I was thinking about writing to NPR on his behalf, ’cause if he can do a “podcast” sort of thing like that on a regular basis, and it’s that good every time, he might have a new career.

4. I watched some video demos of Google’s “SketchUp” application, and am feeling sort of inspired to create a 3D model of my house. I have these ideas for adding/subtracting/modifying my abode, but I’m nervous about tackling them without being really sure they’re going to turn out awesome. For example, I want to paint my bedroom. But what colors? I don’t have the visualization powers necessary to just know what’s going to look good. If I made a 3D model of my bedroom, I could paint the walls with a click of a button. It would be a pretty time consuming task to make the model, but once I had it I could do the paint thing, I could model additions like the new wall I want to put up in my basement, and a porch I want to build, and the deck I want to put out back, plus other eventual goals like moving my air-conditioner unit to the other side of the house so it’s not right at the bottom of the steps to my side porch, leaking condensation down my driveway like it does now.

5. Work is pretty good right now. I have a lot to do, and almost all of it is interesting. So, yay to that.

6. My mortgage-holder sent me spam about this service called “Homefree” which promises to schedule out your home maintenance chores, and give advice and how-tos for the things you need to do around the house. I haven’t signed up yet, but I’m going to, because they have this “demo” on their site, which is hilarious and I love it. It’s kind of a slideshow, with this British guy narrating. His lines are funny, the fact that he’s British is funny, the slides cracked me up, and that’s really reason enough for me sometimes. I like to encourage ads and marketing that are appealing to me. This of course is the point of all advertising, but you know’m sayin’. Also, the service might just be useful and my mortgage company has a 60-days-free promotional code for it right now.

7. I think that, where women are concerned, at least the ones that I am inevitably attracted to, I am as interesting and sexy as the lump of polymer clay in my oven. That is, sort of interesting, but definitely not in a jump-his-bones-right-now kind of way. (Does that ever really happen?) I’m not sure what the deal is, but fuck it, I have a new car. It looks cool, and that makes me cool, and girls will flock to me and my sexy, hot, safe, only slightly boxy Mar-hicle. As opposed to a Ve-hicle. Get it? Ha. Haha. Mar-hicle!

8. Eight, I forget what eight was for.

9. Now that he’s out of the oven, I can show you what my first li’l polymer clay dude looks like:

My First Polymer Clay Figurine

Goober Front and Back and Scale



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