I’m JB. Your host here at Hogswallowing. This page is about me. It’s not a biography or an introspection, but rather a portrait painted in the subtle hues of taste and the bright shades of proclivity. I hope it helps you understand me a little, and possibly motivates you to come back and read the next thing I publish on this site. Now to it…
I work on the Internet
To pay the mortgage on a nice little house in East Atlanta that has been described as “super cute” by an expert. I browse the Web sites, get the funny pictures in my mailbox, watch all the amusing videos that get tossed around. I read the snarky sites, I contemplate Salon and Slate, I shake my fist at the sky in tandem with the lefty blogs while trying not to pay too much attention to the centrist blogs because I picked my side and I’m sticking with it. Don’t throw logic at me, it’s sharp, it cuts! I bleed!
I’m a little goofy
Also a little silly, a little dour, a little serious. But did you know that I love pop culture and swearing at other drivers? I like indie cool. I like mainstream trash. I like hi-falutin’ stuff. I have a B.S. in Music and play the ‘cello. I’m the guy who shows up at the symphony in torn jeans with an embarrassed date, knowing more about the program than the blue hair over there who has his name on the concert hall. I’m superior in every way.
Most frequent comment about my person: “You have really thick hair.”
My brain is full of bees.
They have conversations in there, in their little bee-dance language. They just won’t shut up about songwriting, various and sundry ideas for inventions and Web sites, ways to solve problems nobody else thinks need to be fixed, my work, my house and everything i need to do to take care of it, what i’m going to do tonight, which way I want to take to get to work today, whether I have too many pairs of jeans, what might be wrong with my washer/dryer, whether the Yankees will make the Series this year, how to get my TiVo to change channels faster. Just ask anyone, those bees are noisy.
I like Ruth Reichl memoirs
And Harry Potter, David Sedaris, trashy science fiction, Taschen, Sarah Vowell, Chick lit, pop-science and sociology like “Blink” or that book about Scrabble (“Word Freak”). I’m addicted to Mary Janice Davidson novels.
I am not a freaky movie fan
There isn’t shit all over the house about Evil Dead or whatever, but I’ll basically go see anything at any time. I love Wes Anderson movies, Ang Lee (although I didn’t care for Brokeback, personally), you know, that sort of thing. Big Wim Wenders fan. Like *most* Tim Burton, the early stuff mostly. Oh, and all those lovely Jeunet movies.
I love going to movie theaters. I love everything from The Ice Storm on down to Underworld: Evolution. I have strange standards. A movie needs to give me what I expect from it, or surprise me in a good way. I got what I expected from both “Wings of Desire” and “American Pie”. I only somewhat got what I expected from “American Pie II”, and I totally hated the third one. I have definite opinions.
I like Bjork
Yes, and Radiohead, Elliott Smith, Postal Service, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Franz Ferdinand, Killers, etc. I like AC/DC, Distillers, and System of a Down. I delight in the occasional “Hey Ya” or “Toxic”. A good song is a good song. I love ABBA, for example.
Good is Good
Ask me what I think about something, and I’ll give you an honest answer unencumbered by cultural prejudice. Who am I kidding? Myself, usually. Ok fine, I’ll try not to dismiss that awesome song you think I just have to love. Really, I will. With my tastes, I can’t rule anything out because the second I do, the next second I’ll have to say “except _____, and _____, and _____”. I mean, come on, there are good Dixie Chicks songs. Just like there are bad Weezer songs. Not many, but you know’m’sayin’.
I’m a little bit finicky
I have dreams of savoring delectable gourmet dishes, but for some reason I have a hard time trying new food. I blame my parents, for forcing that helping of squash down my throat so long ago and making me gag. I mean, they didn’t literally force it down my throat, they just yelled at me and ordered me to try it. And, like, gross.
I don’t like tomatoes
But I love tomato products. I eat a lot of pizza. I love most seafood, but don’t care for sushi or octopus or calamari (I have tried calamari, just don’t care for it). I love edamame. I love egg-drop soup and various Chinese chicken dishes. I love steak and potatoes. I love salmon, crab legs, lobster, scallops, shrimp. I love tacos, and I love fish tacos.
I like me some TV
I even have TiVo. I like American Idol and Project Runway, House, Bones, and CSI (Las Vegas only). I have claimed to enjoy Law & Order, but only to suck up to girls. I like watching billiards on ESPN and poker on the Travel Channel, but I’m good at neither game. I love documentaries and science and history, the Sundance Channel and IFC. I love Deadwood, love it. I like the Sopranos. I like all those Cartoon Network and Comedy Central shows everybody else loves. Except Family Guy, and except Home Movies. And Dr. Katz. If those are God’s gift to television for you, well, call me a heathen but they bug the living crap out of me. The living. Crap.
Those are the things I think about and do, and that’s what you’ll find me writing about here on Hogswallowing. Oh, and you might see each week’s post kind of, uh, metamorphose as the week progresses. I like to edit, but I also like instant gratification. It would be nice if I were on the ball enough to write and edit before posting, but after a couple months, it seems that’s not to be.
August 4, 2006
Updated October 18, 2006